Thursday, March 18, 2010

When Dreams Come True

A few weeks ago I heard that a publishing company would offer a contract for a nonfiction book I wrote with coauthor Melissa Cook.  A few months ago I learned I had been accepted at Sirenland, a compeititive writers conference in Positano, Italy.  You would think I would jump up and down for joy.

I had the same reaction for both events, though stronger for the book contract.  I wasn't happy at all. In fact, sad and scared would be more accuratem after I recovered from the shock.  I was comfortable with my view of myself as someone who wrote hopefully but would never be published.  I believed I would never really be a writer.  It was a dream and an inconcieveable reality. Having a contract meant all the work involved in completing the book. Could I actually do it?  What if I couldn't?  What if in half the pages necessary I'd said all I had to say?

Weeks later I am esctatic.  Now I am over the top with excitement. I will be published.  I did it.  How funny that having dreams come true scares the heck out of me.

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